Sunday, 19 November 2017

Corey Feldman >> Former Child Actor



Corey has released several horrific albums, but I picked this one for the blog because of the title.  He doesn't want you to forget he's a former child actor. Almost like he's defining his entire identity around that fact. Star of this album is a butchering of John Lennon's "Imagine".  Awful.

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Sunday, 12 November 2017

Barbie Doll >> I'm A Doll




How many words can you think that rhyme with 'doll'?  Alison Richardson, stage name Barbie Doll, uses most of them in this song.  She was described as "the Rebecca Black of Oklahoma" by thelostogle.com, a fitting description I feel.

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Sunday, 5 November 2017

David Moore >> Fireworks Display Music



This would be the most disappointing musical accompaniment to a fireworks display, ever.  Cheesy synth renditions of classical works such as "Ride of the Valkyries" and "Swan Lake".  Includes 10, 20 and 30 minute mixes!

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Sunday, 29 October 2017

Altune Durant >> I Do Love You



Surprise! A second album from last week's featured artist, Outoftune Durant.  I feel bad for 'DJ Shawt' (pronouned 'DJ Shorty') who has his music ruined by this woman's vocals.

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Sunday, 22 October 2017

Sunday, 15 October 2017

Wilbur Sargunaraj >> Wilbur Sargunaraj



Wilbur Sargunaraj presents his debut album, "Wilbur Sargunaraj", with music and lyrics by Wilbur Sargunaraj.  Starring Wilbur Sargunaraj as himself, produced by Wilbur Sargunaraj, directed by Wilbur Sargunaraj.  A Wilbur Sargunaraj production.

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Thanks to submitter Wilbur Sargu-... no not really.

Sunday, 8 October 2017

T Baby >> It's So Cold In The D



Apparently it's cold in the D.  Not sure what the D is, exactly, but if you plan on travelling to the D yourself, I would advise you wear warm clothing.  Best YouTube comment goes to Joel, with "She was so off beat, that she managed to get back ON beat."

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Sunday, 1 October 2017

Dhincak Pooja >> Selfie Maine Lali Aaj



22,910,246.  As I write this, that's how many views the video for this song has had on YouTube.  By the time you read it, it will probably be over 23 million.  I can only assume it's being used by a government agency in some sort of psychological torture, played on repeat.

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Don't forget to check out her other releases, they're just as bad.

Sunday, 24 September 2017

Palmer Stanfield >> Conversations We Don't Want To Have

"Could that conversation be.... about his awful rap lyrics?" - Nizzore

"Dude has the rhythm of Michael J Fox fucking a paint mixer on public transportation." - Fiagro

"This is outstandingly bad. This makes me sad." - bonnieprincekillme

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Sunday, 17 September 2017

Princess Vitarah >> Too Much Talent



Too much talent, claims Princess Vitarah.  I somehow doubt her royal lineage, but she's already set herself up as a liar by claiming she has talent (let alone too much of it).  Definitely not safe for work. Or home. Or travelling.

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Don't forget to check out her other releases, too!

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Jean-Pierre Sauser >> Amour et rock'n'roll



The stars and stripes! An eagle! A big truck! This album must be some sort of patriotic American tribute, right? Wrong. It's a French guy. Bamboozled again!

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Amazingly, the title translates to "love and midi music". Thanks to submitter Marc, who apologises to you all.

Sunday, 3 September 2017

The Fat Cowboy - Do Dat Diddly Ding Dang



Good news! If you love this song and want to sing along, there's a karaoke version also available on Spotify.

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Do dat diddly ding dang is Ned Flanders' favourite song.

Sunday, 27 August 2017

Mr Zip >> Where Me Keys, Where Me Phone?



They say the best songs are ones where you can really relate to the lyrics. Many songs have been written about love, sex, death, and cheap fish from the market, but this catchy tune tackles perhaps the most tricky subject of all: not knowing where your keys and phone are.

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Sunday, 20 August 2017

£1 Fish Man >> One Pound Fish



This singing superstar was "discovered" at his market stall, selling his wares by using his vocal talents and singing about his cheap fish.  His voice isn't actually that bad, but it earns its place on this blog because of the lyrics, and the DJ remixes on this release.

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This actually reached number 28 in the UK Singles Chart, number 4 in the UK Dance Chart, and number 1 in the UK Asian Chart.

Sunday, 13 August 2017

IceJJFish >> On the Floor



I have my suspicions this one is intentionally awful, but on the off-chance that it's genuine, I include it here for your enjoyment.  Check out his other releases too; "Get Lost" and "My Bae".

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Thanks to submitter Sarah for this one.

Sunday, 6 August 2017

Ivy Blue >> Every Glass Memory



This submission to the blog came with a follow-up email regretting their submission because they found out the singer has autism, and felt bad their inclusion. Well, in the interest of equal opportunities, I'm including it anyway. Bad singing is bad singing, after all.

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Sorry Jac, it was just too good bad to not post it!

Sunday, 30 July 2017

Diamanda Galás >> Schrei x



How did you sleep last night?  I hope it was good, because after listening to this you might not sleep again for a while.  This is a horrid collection of noise from what I can only assume is someone possessed by evil spirits.  Enjoy.

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Thanks to submitter Dominic, who claims this is "cracking stuff". His words, not mine.

Sunday, 23 July 2017

Roobie Breastnut >> Porn Flush



Roobie Breastnut's first album, "Porn Flush," set the stage for her musical career of combining 90s-era dance sounds with low-grade talk-singing about boobs, balls, and butts. You'd think that a musical career with songs such as "Scrotum Sack", "Fuck Me Fuck Me", and "Ooh Baby Naked Dance" would be impeccable, but, you wouldn’t really think that, actually. Nope.

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Via theworstthingsforsale.com

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Placido Lobos & His American Amigos >> The Macarena Christmas Medley Extended Version



This dreadful rendition of The Macarena, expertly mixed with a selection of Christmas classics, comes in at a tortuous 16 minutes and 27 seconds.

If that's not enough for you masochists, the album also features Hot Hot Hot Christmas Medley Extended Edition, also over 16 minutes.

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Merry Christmas, you filthy animals!

Saturday, 26 March 2016

Vanilla >> No Way No Way



Vanilla were a British girl group from Barnet, England, founded in 1997.  This song won the ITV Chart Show "Worst Music Video Ever" award and was voted number 26 on Channel 4's "100 Worst Pop Records".

I say no way, no way, to listening to this more than once.

Play Song

Sunday, 24 May 2015

Limpie Bisquit >> The Best Greatest Hacker In The Universe


The self-proclaimed Best Greatest Hacker In The Universe is so good at hacking that he hacked together this album without even needing to have any talent.

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Thursday, 3 April 2014

James Dean Claitor >> Let Me Down Easy



You want me to let you down easy, James? OK. Here goes. You suck at singing. Oh sorry that wasn't letting you down very easy, was it? Let me try again. You're awful. Hmm, no, I'm not very good at that.

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Thanks to submitter Nathan for this awful noise

Sunday, 23 February 2014

Raj Shankar >> Sing Dance and Sweat


Sing Dance and Sweat Audio Album For Holiday Mood, to give this album its full title, is one of two equally awful albums on Spotify by Raj Shankar. Here's a tip, Raj. When you're designing your album cover, don't wear a white suit on a white background, or you'll look like a floating disembodied head.

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Thanks to Jac for this one by email submission!

Monday, 3 February 2014

Melchior Alias >> Melchior Alias... Remastered



I may not understand much French, but I know enough to understand that our friend here, Mechior Alias, doesn't have the strongest singing voice. 

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Saturday, 1 February 2014

Love Is All >> Fight



Put musical instruments in a mental asylum, give the inmates a microphone and access to the internet, and the result could be this album from Love Is All.

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Thanks to June for this submission by email!